I was listening to an old song that I enjoyed in my teenage years (I still enjoy it to this day) when I took a moment and begin reminiscing of the young girl I once was. Absorbing every lyric while carrying questions and insecurities that I didn’t know how to name or deal with (and might I say, who does at that age anyway, right?). I think back and can easily remember how I was searching for acceptance desperate to fit in. Cheerleading was everything. I had natural God-given talent and during my freshman year I was the primary choreographer for our team. We would go on to win first place that year at a UCA Summer Camp competition while placing tenth overall at State. That summer however, tragedy would hit our home as my father would pass suddenly of an unexpected heart attack. This was a pivotal moment that would change the trajectory of my life. Cheerleading would eventually dissolve and with so much of my self-esteem tied to it, what would I be without it? Even deeper, what would my identity be after losing my dad? Thankfully I was raised in the way a child should go so that even in my brokenness, the Lord was ever-present. So with all that said, back to the meaning of the song. Rather I was listening through the stereo speakers in my room or on blast through my Walkman (cd player for the young’ins)—what I know for a fact is: through glorious lyrics I was crying out to God while being desperate and fragile… and He was meeting me right where I was and He was listening!
Now fast forward twenty plus years and while so much has changed, the battle remains. Each day I pray for Gods help to be the godly wife and the godly woman He’s called me to be. While at times I can still become weary and though I haven’t perfected the art of suffering well—I am certain of whose I am and of where I belong. My life has been crucified with Christ; He lives, rules, and reigns within me. I know that along this path called life, apart from Him I can do absolutely nothing. He alone is my rock and my fortress, He is the firm foundation rather I stand or fall to my knees. With each passing day, the Holy Spirit continues to take me from glory to glory, from grace to grace. Today mercy and wisdom have become my teachers no matter the lesson or test. And by faith, I’ve come to understand that even the loss of my precious dad (whom I miss dearly) was so I could know the true meaning of Father to the fatherless.
Nothing is ever wasted with the Lord. He has a plan and purpose for our life no matter the valley or hill we’re facing. His unfailing love is always pursuing us, always knocking at the door of our hearts. I encourage you, surrender fully to the Lord and allow Him to meet you where you are today and always. May you be encouraged in the LORD and in the power of HIS might… keep running to Him sweet friend!
// prayer //
Father, thank You for never leaving and never forsaking me. Continue to have Your perfect way in my life. Help me Lord when I’m tired and hurting, give me strength to endure the race You set before me. I love you and I need You more then anything or anyone, more then the very air I breathe. In Jesus name, AMEN.
🙌🏽🙏🏽💜
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20 NKJV
Music reference: “Here’s My Life” by Barlowgirl YouTube https://youtu.be/Zt1H5EWcunE?is=AeMqO8fqP4k-9pCP / Apple Music https://music.apple.com/us/album/heres-my-life/1166405658?i=1166405717
Just a girl desperately seeking God 